that 10 song fic meme thing

[urbancate]

Because, OMG, I had to at least TRY SOMETHING because WORDS WILL NOT COME OUT ANYMORE. I CAN'T WRITE ANYTHING LATELY.

So, I tried this. As an attack on the Star Trek AU Fic (tentatively titled Torch) [McCoy/Jocelyn, Kirk/Carolyn, and variations thereof, Modern-ish AU] that has been eating my freaking brain. I built an extensive playlist and then used that and let 10 songs play and wrote WHAT LITTLE I COULD.

I feel so full of fail right now.

But here are the ficlets (emphasis on the diminutive aspects of that word):

1. Sleep - Meiko

Leonard has gone to work, she realizes, reaching out in dim morning light to his place in their bed. The place that is empty. Her fingers move along wrinkles in the sheet, proof that he was here. She wouldn't know it any other way. She wants to hug his pillow, inhale whatever scent of him is left. She stays still, one hand reached out. The other pressed to the ache in her chest that is her heart. More sleep would be good, she thinks.

 

2. Kissing - Bliss

She is more than high on all the wine they've drunk. They both are. Wine and chemistry and the descent of night have cast a spell. They stumble a little through the front door. There are still boxes in the hall, hazards to navigate. He pushes her to the couch, she pulls him down to the couch. Dark, slow, wine-flavored kisses. She is getting on high on his mouth, his taste, the feel of him, his weight pressing her down. Their tongues duel with an easy un-hasty familiarity. God, just kissing like this is the best. They haven't...she can't remember the last time they just kissed and kissed like this. It's like a rewind button on their life together. It's heady and high and wonderful.

 

3. Love Is A Losing Game - Amy Winehouse

"Are you kidding me, Jim?!"

"I'm sorry, Care. I really am." He looks away, shakes his head. He really is sorry, and that might be the worst part, she thinks. That he isn't lying when he says he still loves her. But he loves someone else, too.

She knew this was coming, saw it that first night, new neighbors over for dinner. It was an instant attraction. She felt it, too. But Jim has taken it further.

4. Home - Sheryl Crow

Pecan pie. Because she can't think of anything else to do, she is baking pecan pie. Because Leonard loves pecan pie. Because she loves this home, because she still loves him. Through the window she watches Tigger chasing his tail across the backyard. This is her kitchen, this is her home. This is their home, dammit. She hates this silence, the knife-edge she is walking on lately. It's not even her fault, not really. Her hands are still over rolled out pie crust and tears drip onto the counter.

5. Never Be Lonely - The Feeling

This is crazy. He knows it's insane. He has to know it's crazy, she thinks. But he only looks happy and hopeful and the question is just there, hanging.

He presses kisses to her knuckles, practically batting his eyelashes. God, his eyes, she is insane over those blue eyes. So maybe it isn't so crazy, what he's asking.

She bites her lip. "Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yes. Okay?"

"Yes? You'll marry me?"

"Yes, you idiot!"

6. Wonderwall - Oasis

How did they get here? she wonders.

He is holed up in his office and she is making herself busy with stupid things around the house. God, because they are both so guilty.

She walks by the door and pauses, puts a hand out against the wood. The palpable silence is broken by what sounds like sobbing.

He's crying in his office.

And she can only put her hand on the door and hope that somehow they find a way to save themselves from themselves.

7. Warning Sign - Coldplay

Leonard has been helping Jim in the kitchen. That is the excuse, as if it really takes the both of them to grab another bottle of wine. Joss looks at Carolyn across the table. They both know what's happening, but they don't say anything. Carolyn pushes the bowl of guacamole closer to Joss.

"Have some more." Her smile is tight.

"Sure, hon."

"We're smart women, Joss." There is a question buried in the statement. Joss doesn't know how to answer.

"Then we'll figure it out, right? That's what smart people do, isn't it?" She has never felt more stupid in her life than right now, eating chips across the table from the wife of the man her husband is most likely kissing in the kitchen.

8. In Our Bedroom After the War - Stars

She wakes with a start. Blood. So much blood. Her blood.

It has been days since the actual terrible midnight rush to the emergency room. It has been days since there was actually blood. Days since her own body finally defeated the last pieces of hope she held.

She has signaled her surrender, she is in full surrender. Days in bed, while her body recovers. But her heart, her spirit, they are too smashed, too broken.

The last miscarriage. The last battle. The end of the war.

The universe and her own hostile womb have won and she has lost.

9. The Air That I Breathe - The Hollies

"God, Len, when was the last time you shaved?" She giggles as she asks, because she doesn't really mind. His whisker-rough cheeks are perfect against her skin.

He sort of growls a non-response and continues to lick and suck at her. She will have whisker burn on her thighs, she thinks dimly, as he pushes higher, sucks harder.

She gasps in quick, short breaths. "Oh, god, yes. Len!"

10. Lay Lady Lay - Magnet

"Are you trying to seduce me?"

"If you have to ask, I'm obviously failing."

"Oh, I wouldn't say that." She laughs, stretches her naked body underneath him, leisurely.

"Have I told you how beautiful you are?"

"Not this morning, I don't think."

"You are so beautiful." He pushes inside her, slow, leisurely, this is the mood of this morning's lovemaking. "I love you."

"I know. I love you, too." Their fingers twine as their bodies move and the morning light spills across their bed.